We all have our own insecurities in the bedroom…right?
Do you remember being a kid and being insecure about—I don’t know—if your lunchbox was the same color as everyone else’s? Or the times when you were most conscious about what cartoons you watched over the weekend? Or if your socks raised up your angle at just the right length? Yeah, those were good times.
RELATED: Thoughts On Solo-Poly, Open Relationships & Non-Traditional Setups
We now have (arguably) bigger monsters to overcome and those of us who have crossed the threshold into adult intimacy know exactly what I’m talking about: insecurities in the bedroom. We all have them, from our bellies rolling up to the smells our bodies produce, the amount of sweat that’s exchanged and just not having a good cum face.
Time to talk about these collective insecurities in the bedroom because (say it with me) it’s normal to have them.
Smells
This one was a surprise to me, not because I didn’t think about it, but because it came out at the top of my surveying—apparently, this is the most common one among my peers. Whether it’s the smell of a guy’s junk and jizz, a girl’s vaginal odor or just standard BO, apparently we all sniff the air a little bit to make sure we’re not too overwhelming.
Sweat
This one’s pretty self-explanatory and actually more for someone’s partner. The people I spoke to don’t like to sweat so much because it might be uncomfortable for the person that they’re with (in that moment).
Belly Rolls
Let’s be honest, the visuals play a big part in staying aroused sometimes and we just don’t have the toned stomachs that people-of-fantasies tend to exhibit. So of course we get conscious of the way our bellies roll in certain positions. Anyone else ever ask to turn the lights off? Huh, just me? Okay…
Hair
While most of those I convinced to talk to me mentioned being conscious of the hair “down there” because of oral sex, some of the girls actually mentioned how they tend to take into consideration whether or not the hair on their head is still in place—or if it’s a good messy look.
Size
Oh, boys and dick size.
RELATED: Does Age Difference Matter in a Relationship?
Now onto the real stuff: do these insecurities hinder their romantic relationships in or out of the bedroom? I’m pleased to say that, at least with my pool of subjects, the collective answer was no. The piece of advice shared is that you should be able to open up to your partner—about anything and everything, including the things that make us feel insecure.
But if you aren’t at that stage of openness with your partner just yet, then just do whatever is in your capacity: focus on positions you’re comfortable in, groom yourself, maybe dim the lights a little. And remember to enjoy yourself, too.
Art Matthew Ian Fetalver
