Locker Room Speak: People Divulge The Funniest/Most Embarrassing/Juiciest Stories They Overheard
Anyone up for one-minute teleseryes?
Sometimes when you’re walking around the mall, you can’t help but notice a couple fighting in the corner. Other times, you’re just sitting in a restaurant and you overhear the table next to you telling stories you shouldn’t be hearing. Don’t feel bad; we’ve all done it before.
There are moments when these overheard one-minute teleseryes make our nights and make us wonder what happened after we were out of earshot. We share these stories with our friends and the group inevitably makes theories and sometimes even spin webs that could never be real (or at least, we’d like to think so).
Some of our favorites? We thought you’d never ask.
Saw a middle aged couple, looks rich and successful; they were having dinner across our table. Then the girl says “Okay, my husband just texted; we‘ve got at least two hours before he gets here. Your place or sa dati?”
Then sabay kiss 👀 f—f
I picked up the phone and hurriedly dialed the local number that was given to me. My heart was beating out of my chest and my voice was giving away my nervousness. The moment I heard someone pick up, I said, “Hello po, ready na po ba yung HIV results ni ******?” It came out shakier than expected only to be met with “Sorry sir, wrong number po ito. Patient’s room po ito.”
Well, it was my partner who heard it. She was telling me that our neighbor had friends over and all seemed well until he started getting mad. Still not sure why, but he was yelling and telling people “Lumayas kayo.” That’s pretty embarrassing, for people to hear you lose your shit.
My friends and I were coming back from the smoking are and there was this couple behind us that looked like they were on their first date or something.
Anyway, the girl flirtatiously giggled, stopped and said, “Wait… weren’t you gonna high five me?” (and at this point I assume she had her hand up). And the guy just said no. Awkward silence followed; I was embarrassed for her.
Overheard in Fully Booked: Please kill me by fucking me gently with a chainsaw.
Couple beside us seemed very in-tune with each other; my guess is they’ve been together for some years. I didn’t bother to listen until there was silence and the girl asked, “So where does your girlfriend think you are now?”
“At home, watching the game.”
The gist of the story is that there’s this guy planning to surprise his officemate whom he has a crush on. His officemates were teasing him.
But the thing is he’s mahangin, like he doesn’t look gwapo or capable of amounting to anything. Hahaha. So I’m not sure how his surprise went but I’m pretty sure the girl wasn’t impressed by it.
RELATED: I Was A Serial Cheater
Chismosa na kung chismosa, but we thoroughly enjoyed those stories (and wish there was more to it).
Art Alexandra Lara