Because sex is meant to be enjoyable—not awful
Sex, unlike how it’s portrayed in porn or the movies, is not always pretty. In fact, sometimes, especially when it’s a spur of the moment kind of romp, it can get very wet, very messy and in some occasions, really, really weird. But sex isn’t supposed to be perfect—unless it’s solo sex of course, then you’ll know exactly how much fapping it will take to get you to come. ANYWAY, if there’s anything that sex should be, it’s enjoyable.
And to really, truly enjoy sex, you have to be honest about what you like and what you don’t, what it is that gets you turned on or turned off. So when you hit a partner’s peeves, don’t give up or let your ego get in the way. Listen, ask questions and try again. If it’s you that got peeved, decide if it’s something that you can live with or keep doing, or if you’d rather speak up and avoid awful sex altogether. So, what say you? While you think about it, here’s what the eight people we talked to had to say:
“Believe it or not I hate dirty talk. [But] while I hate dirty talk, really intimate/personal pillow talk lets me get into someone’s mind. I’ve always felt that someone opening up to you while looking straight into your eyes is a huge turn on.”[/one-half-first] [one-half]
“It turns me off when partner says ‘I love you’ or any romantic phrases while doing it. [But] whispering turns me on.”
“Not a fan of biting. Nibbling is okay but if you get overly gigil, no. Tension [though] is a good thing! Teasing, leading looks, lip biting—they all add up! Once in a while though a ‘whoa where did that come from’ encounter is a welcome thing![/one-half-first] [one-half]
“People who make an effort to say sexual stuff really has the opposite effect on me, lol. Just doing it with really good moaning (gets the job done).”
“None, sorry. [I’m more of a] jump to bed and get it done, lol.”
“I don’t like getting my balls jacked off/touched while getting fucked in the ass. How do you expect me to get hard when something’s rammed behind you. [But] I like trying out new things. I always ask my sex partner first what s/he wants to do/explore. If s/he is open to do it. I believe that conversation before sex gives you more connection and sets one in the mood.”[/one-half-first] [one-half]
Boy Tabo, 30
“Ayoko nang nakikiliti ng sobra.Nastre-stress ako. Whispering, hugging, nipple touching, nibbling on earlobes etc, etc., are what get me in the mood.”
J Bird, 30
“Not taking a bath before doing the deed…Let’s prevent funky smells from going around.”
As an ex once said, “it’s different strokes for different folks.” Here’s to a happy, hump-filled (but safe!) holidays for you and your partner!
Art Alexandra Lara