Who needs ghosts when we have real life horrors to deal with?
When I was a kid, I woke up one night from the only nightmare I can remember from my childhood. I was kidnapped by a witch and she was getting ready to cook me in a big pot—it’s a silly thought now, but the pseudo experience of being put in boiling water was enough to wake me and keep me up.
Now I’m kept up by other things, some everyday real life horrors that the great world of #adulting has introduced me to. Who cares about the rare chance you’ll fall off a cliff when you face some pretty horrific things on the daily, right?
Horror 1: Opening your wallet
While we live in a world that sometimes pays digitally, most of us still prefer to pay cash upfront—call us sadistic for opting to literally watch our money get handed away. The point is, it’s quite frightening to open your wallet when you can’t really recall how much spending power you still have.
Do you have enough for your commute? Is there money for lunch? Can you splurge a little bit today and ride an Angkas instead of trudging through Manila traffic? Will you survive until next sweldo?
Who the fuck knows sometimes.
Horror 2: Bad coffee
Imagine your morning routine. You brew yourself a cup of coffee or you go to your usual counter, talk to your usual barista and order your usual order. Say you’re already holding the cup, can feel the temperature at your fingertips. And then you come in for a sip…and it’s not what you’re expecting. Your usual comfort is not what you need this morning.
Horror 3: Traffic
Don’t we all just wish that the end of the day meant a leisurely ride home? A quick commute to the sanctuary of a bed, television and some dinner on the table? Yeah, not happening in our world (or country, at least).
Alas, after upwards of nine hours working our asses of, we have the traffic to look forward to. And with traffic comes long commute lines. And long commute lines mean more strain on our joints and less actual unwinding time.
There really is nothing quite as startling as turning the corner and seeing a long line that you need to get to the back of.
Horror 4: The disconnect from technology
There’s a reason why powerbanks exist: we’re scared to be disconnected from the world. It isn’t even about having data and internet and social media at all hours of the day; sometimes the everyday real life horror is in just seeing your smartphone battery turn red—because then what? What if there’s an emergency? What if you’re somewhere unfamiliar to you and you don’t know how to get home? What if you’re waiting to be contacted? What if you need to contact someone? What if you’re bored AF and you can’t play your games and now have to stand around while everyone else fumbles with their charged devices?
Horror 5: A flood of messages
I know I just said we hate being digitally disconnected from the world, but we do just want to live unplugged sometimes. So say it’s the weekend and you’ve opted to give yourself and Netflix the afternoon alone—call it a date. So you watch the latest episode(s) of your show or you finally put on that movie everyone’s talking about. At the end of it, you’re relaxed and feeling good and you suddenly remember: you have a relationship with your phone, too! So you check it out and what greets you are 15 messages and two missed calls.
We know you know that feeling. What TF did you miss out on?
In the big scheme of things, these fears are really shallow. These are everyday real life horrors that we face on the goddamn daily—but that doesn’t make them any less genuine. So you know what? Screw you, Pennywise, we have some real shit to conquer and defeat.
Art Alexandra Lara