Sibling Relationships: The Good, the Weird, the Nasty
Because siblings do the darndest things
The doting panganay, the often favored bunso, the independent middle child: regardless of the traits associated with the birth order of kids, a lot of the experiences in a family are defined by sibling relationships. Sometimes, they’re the darndest moments the parents don’t get to see. Other times, they’re things parents do end up seeing and wish they didn’t.
Before finding BFF’s at the playground or learning to socialize with everyone else, siblings are there to serve as a person’s first teacher for social interaction. With them, a human being learns to share, realizes the value of kindness and gets to practice their P’s and Q’s. Social niceties aside, sibling dynamics have a lot to do with personal traits that stick: Sibling relationships, in other words, are just as impactful to a person’s life as the relationship with his or her parents. (That distinct sense of humor of yours? There’s research to back up that your siblings have a lot to do with it.)
So now, think back at your shared moments with your ates, kuyas or younger siblings. Did you get into a lot of trouble together in your youth? Any rivalry there that contributed to your competitive streak? Rites of passage you experienced together, perhaps? Consider yourselves mischievous co-conspirators? There’s a lot of good, bad and ugly to go around as siblings ride on through to adulthood together.
Below, friends of Wonder spill the deets and the most memorable events that helped define their relationship with their siblings:
First and Foremost, a Support System
I think it’s pretty awesome that I entered showbiz mid-2018, not as an artist, but as a talent handler considering I have siblings in the industry. It’s also pretty cool that we’re part of the same network!
I found it really sweet and encouraging that my siblings pushed me for the job, too. I was holding myself back (something I usually do). Yet they continued to push and show me that there’s nothing to be afraid of. Because of them, I am constantly learning how to be a better person. I love them so much!
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Not Quite A Knife Fight
When we were kids, I used to love annoying my younger sister. Still do actually. But when I was about 8 or 9, I remember annoying her so badly that it ended up bloody. What makes this unique was that we were at the dinner table and that I clearly had the upper pang-aasar hand. My sister’s pikon meter was clearly spiking. In her anger, she took a dinner knife (rounded, not pointed) and raised it. I thought, “Holy shit she’s gone cray.” I thought she was going to run at me or throw it.
Instead, she put the knife in her mouth and bit it! Resulting in a minor cut (inside her mouth). Years later she says, “Well, I clearly couldn’t stab you ‘cause people would freak out…So I got pissed and did it to myself.” Hurt herself over hurt me––crazy right? I file this under the “my sister loves me but just won’t admit it folder.” Whenever people ask me about this and ask who stuck the knife in her mouth I always say coyly “my sister, the smart one.”
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WrestleMania: Family Edition
When we were younger, my brother Justin and I used to imitate our favorite wrestlers. But since he’s older (and bigger) than me, I couldn’t do anything but follow what he wanted. In short, he wins, I lose.
The Siblings That Drink Together…
A few years ago, two of my cousins from abroad flew in for the holidays. One of the things they wanted to do was to go clubbing.
I am not a fan of clubbing. Never was, never will be, and as hard as I tried to get out of it, my dad forced me to go along with my sisters to a high-end club where I was to drink and mingle for the first time with not only my cousins but MY OLDER SISTERS.
See the thing is, to me, clubbing is something you do with friends, not with people you’ve lived with for your entire life who would probably lecture you for getting drunk and flirty at a night club. To my dread, I got in my mini skirt and heels and entered that night club with my family.
Numerous long-island iced teas and shots later, ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE.
Not for me though, but for my older sister who drank the day away in alcohol. She told me she needed to go to the bathroom, so my cousin led her there. I followed minutes later to find her head down a toilet bowl with her hair in my cousin’s hands whilst the janitress (that poor, poor janitress) waited for her to stop spraying chunks of food and alcohol on the toilet and wall.
YES, YOU READ THAT RIGHT. SPRAYED. You would think that sprinkler-type vomiting only happened in the movies, but nope. IT’S SOME REAL DRUNK LIFE TYPA STUFF APPARENTLY.
My cousin gave up from disgust and I stepped up to the plate, holding my sister’s hair back for her while she sobered up and threw up more chunks into the toilet bowl. It went everywhere: the wall, the toilet, MY FEET. Luckily enough, I was too tipsy to care.
Finally, she finished and cleaned herself and walked out of that bathroom profusely apologizing to the janitress who walked into the cubicle disinfecting the crap out of the place. We decide we’re done for the night and stepped outside. I notice that my eldest sister this time was missing. Where was she?
Lo and behold, crouched over the bushes vomiting. So, there I was again, taking care of the next sister and making sure she doesn’t choke on her own upchuck.
We ended up eating away the remaining alcohol in our body at the nearest fast-food restaurant until we were finally okay enough to go home and I couldn’t help but think: “who knew I’d outlast my older sisters in drinking?”
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Something for Kuya for a Change
I won’t ever forget the sweetest thing my kid siblings did for me. On my birthday, they all chipped in to buy me an Ateneo hoodie. They knew I didn’t have one yet and that I’d been meaning to get one for the longest time, so I found that extremely thoughtful.
Do Not Try This at Home
Disclaimer: this happened at a different time and back in the province. When we were younger, I remember my two siblings playing a prank on our youngest one, which took a turn for the worst. My two mischievous sisters dipped cotton balls in a cup of water with crushed chili peppers and then let them dry. They set the chili cotton balls on fire in our youngest’s room while she was taking an afternoon nap, essentially creating makeshift tear gas. They got in so much trouble for that. And as life in the province and in a strict household would have it, their punishment for such a deed was pretty severe.
My family has a WhatsApp group. I messaged one night that I’d be having dinner out and my dad offered to pick me up; I said no need. My brother messaged that he was staying in the office late and my dad offered to pick him up; he said no. My sister messaged that she was seeing friends that night too and my dad said nothing. Not even an acknowledgement.
When people make fun of my parents playing favorites, I really can’t deny anything…
Who was the Ross to your Monica? The Prue and Piper to your Phoebe? The Paris to your Nicky? Go ahead and tell us about what your sibling relationship was like below!
Art Alexandra Lara