The Psychology of Sexting: Funny Truths Behind Nudes
A time-honored tradition of so many millennials. But seriously, WHY the unsolicited dick pics?
The first reports of “sexting” go back to 2005 in The Sunday Telegraph, though if we want to include all the naughtiness that came from AOL instant Messenger, MSN, and beyond, we’re looking at 20+ years of sexting in one form or another. This, of course, kicked into overdrive once smartphones came on the scene with their clear picture quality and easy insert into messages. It makes me super relieved I graduated High School when I did, because I KNOW my teenage self would’ve been easily duped into sending nudes to some idiot who gave me a compliment or was willing to discuss Dawson’s Creek.
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But alas, my teenage self was spared from that fresh hell, in a way that my twenty-something and thirty-something self, was not. Even with the fun aspect of sexting, one thing reigns supreme in the annoyance of women: the unsolicited dick pic. I’ve said it before: no one looks impressive on a screen that small. I suppose you could include another item in the picture for scale, but then I’m forced to wonder “It’s 10AM on a Wednesday, why am I getting a picture of a dick and an eggplant?”
“No one looks impressive on a screen that small. I suppose you could include another item in the picture for scale”
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I don’t find penises offensive. Functionally, I’ve found them very useful and enjoyable. But the unsolicited image is what I just don’t get. After speaking with several men in my life (mostly ex boyfriends, because I’m the weirdo who’s always friends with exes), I’ve learned that across the board, as long as it’s someone who they’ve established a mutually flirty rapport with, they’re game to receive unsolicited nudes any time of day. They differed a little bit on preference, with teasing being more popular than blatantly explicit images, but really, they didn’t care. Bring on the tits.
Men are visual creatures, we’ve always known this. It caused me to wonder whether I am somehow a freak and in the minority for not being aroused and enthusiastic when an erect penis pops up on my phone unannounced. So I decided to ask a few women how they felt. The answers ranged from “Meh” to “If I’m already talking dirty to the guy I guess it’s fine, but I don’t really care,” and “NOOOPE.”
How women really feel about dick pics:
“If I’m already talking dirty to the guy I guess it’s fine, but I don’t really care”
And because of the difference in visual arousal between men and women, what happens when women don’t litter the phones of their male paramours with breasts and Brazilian bikini waxes? Men ASK. If all is consensual, then great! But even when it’s consensual, what if you’re not in the mood to get out of bed, stand in front of the bathroom mirror (or bonus points, use a selfie stick), and contort your body into its most flattering angles? What if you’re still in quarantine mode and haven’t shaved in a long time?
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Virtually all women that I talked to admitted to having a folder on their phone devoted to said images, for moments just like that one. I am guilty of this as well. If I’m in a sexual relationship with a guy and am laying in bed, I don’t want to discourage him from talking dirty, but I also don’t feel like standing. After a long day, I have the energy to roll over and grab the womanizer (or any other Pleasure Air Technology®️ device for that matter), but the pics I’m sending “in the moment” were probably taken on a good hair day after a shower.
To be clear: sexting is great fun, but when it becomes work, it stops being sexy.
Also, Ladies…in the interest of looking out for my girls: keep it below the neck until you know the guy’s a keeper.
Words Nicole Caliro
Art Matthew Fetalver