“Honestly, I thought there was something wrong with my vagina”
Let me be clear, I once enjoyed sex and its full spectrum—solo sex, monogamous sex, casual sex, straight sex, gay-sex, etc. But just as partners vary, so does the pleasurability. Straight sex for me was convenient and necessary (if you want children). Sleeping around through my early 20s, you’d think I’d have more earth-shattering sex stories with the opposite gender to share. But alas, there was only one encounter—one-time sex with a random guy—that blew my mind. He was below average in size and maybe that’s the thing with small guys, they have the desire to please and compensate with performance. However, bigger guys, my vagina seems to have a problem with. Regardless of the amount of foreplay, I just couldn’t enjoy the sex as much or the penis just wouldn’t go in all.
So, what was the problem? Were they just too big or was I just too small? Does my vagina have a mind of its own, was it being picky?
Honestly, I thought there was something wrong with her (my vagina). So I did some ~light~ researching for some answers:
Vaginal Depth: Does It Matter?
Think of the vagina as an accordion; it can stretch to allow something to go in (like a finger, penis, sex toy or tampon) or out. Unaroused, it’s about two to four inches long, but when in the mood, she can elongate up to eight inches. Professionals, however, caution that while the vagina can expand during foreplay, a large penis or sex toy can still cause discomfort.
The Birds And The Bees
Fact: the average erect penis is 33% longer than the average vagina. But regardless of size, these organs can usually accommodate one another. It can become painful or uncomfortable for a woman when a penis or sex toy that’s larger than the average hits the cervix. To keep things pleasurable, communicate (speak up!) and use the lube.
“Shallow Vagina Problems”
Every vagina is different. But depth and size aside, if you experience discomfort when trying to insert something—be it a tampon or a penis—you may want to check in with a professional for proper diagnosis. Per our research, pain (during insertion) can be caused by conditions including vaginal dryness (caused by age, changes in hormonal condition and lifestyle), vaginismus (an automatic response of the body where your muscles involuntarily constrict just as you’re trying to insert something) or a tilted uterus (where it literally tilts toward the spine, making penetration from behind or deep thrusting uncomfortable).
There could be a number of reasons why, at the time I was trying to have sex with much larger guys, that my vag just wouldn’t accommodate them. But if there’s anything experience taught me, it’s that sometimes it’s not me (because I’m first to think I'm the problem, and I’ve had sex using a seven-inch strap-on and was fine). So maybe it was them. Maybe we just weren’t sexually compatible and that’s fine.
Words Not A Doctor
Art Alexandra Lara