You know it. You just don’t know you know it
The world of modern dating can sometimes be confusing. You don’t know if you’re casual, if you’re exclusive or if you’re just fooling around with someone most of the time. Concepts and terms have been born from this frustrating place and we’re about to talk about one of the most recent ones to circulate the internet: Orbiting.
Ah, but WTH is orbiting anyway? Well, it’s a word used to describe a situation that you’ve likely been in before (and I definitely have). Simply described, it’s when you and another person are “close enough to see each other [but] far enough never to talk.”
It’s when you stop dating a guy but his name keeps popping up in who watched your Insta-stories. It’s when you stop seeing a girl but she keeps up your Snap streak, showing off her OOTDs and cute selfies. It’s when the person that could have been refuses to let you forget them—even if they’re the ones that walked away.
Sound familiar, huh? We knew you’d get it.
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Orbiting is possible because of technology and the need to be seen on social media. With the help of Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat and Twitter, it has become so easy to stay within someone’s world without actually being in it. And the most conniving part about it? It’s never really that obvious when someone does it.
Who doesn’t look through Stories on an hourly basis? Who doesn’t send Snaps on the daily? Who doesn’t read Tweets or scroll through their Newsfeed every break time? It’s so simple, but so incredibly effective.
“Close enough to see each other;
far enough never to talk.”
The reason behind orbiting is likely different for every person and every situation, but the general consensus is this: we hate missing out and we like our options. So instead of burning bridges with exes like our parents likely did, we stay on everyone’s radar and keep tabs on everyone’s lives on the off-chance we’d like another go-around.
Honestly, it’s hard not to orbit when all you have to do is open an app to see what someone’s up to. We all know that dating is hard enough without all these games and two-faced practices. And, really, do you want to marry someone whose name you’d see around but whose face you never spoke to? Do you want to have kids with someone you consciously kept in the back burner while you actively sought out other people?
In hopes that the answers to these questions are no, here’s a little bit of advice: block people when you no longer have the intention of pursuing an actual relationship with them. We’re not shooting into the wind in saying that it would be for your benefit as much as theirs.
Art Alexandra Lara