Alternative dating advice for guys who choose decency over lays
I was recently asked about my thoughts on PUA Academy. It was the first time I had heard about it, so I did a quick online search and—would you look at that—I found out that, once again, a group of men has reached an all-time low.
PUA Academy, to put it simply, trains men how to seduce and bed women. Period? Nope. To make matters worse, they market their trainings to point out a man’s inability to get laid as something that can be fixed by attending their classes—as if the real measure of masculinity is the number of women a man has had sex with.
We could spend an entire day talking about how some of their topics are not (exactly) about bedding women, such as personal attractiveness and self-actualization, but let’s face it. At the end of that day, however, the ultimate goal is this: seduce women.
Ssein Meneses (AKA Smooth), the CEO of PUA Academy, went viral when a video of one of his classes was uploaded. The most striking line he said was that some women, “Gusto nila nagpapaforce.” Let me remind you that force can mean different things to different people, but one should never tip this to another guy. And when I say never, I mean NEVER. Not sometimes, not every now and then.
In case I wasn’t clear about that, here’s the definition of “never:”
In fear of being misunderstood, let me be clearer. Only the woman whom you are dating has the right to tell you if she likes to be forced. This decision is not to be made by anyone else, let alone a pickup artist or an academy dedicated to getting men laid.
But you still need help, right? Thank the heavens that are still decent things you can do.
The Anti-PUA Dating Advice For Guys
- Take your chances
And don’t be afraid to make mistakes.
- Learn about the woman
Use your time to learn about the woman instead of learning about how to pick her up. Invest in her, take time out to see her and make her smile. Be there for her.
- Be respectful
Of the time she gives you, of what she says and what she agrees to. Let her feel what she feels and let her talk to you about it.
- Be kind and patient always
Talk about things and see them through. Don’t be quick to judge or get frustrated. Practicing a little more kindness and patience goes a long way.
- Above all else, be honest
With your intentions, with your character and even with your flaws.
When it boils down to it: There’s always an option. And if the choice is between forcing yourself onto someone—with tricks, with lies, with pickup lines—and authenticity, choose to be authentic.
Words Jeremy Yu Caunca and David Aquino
Art Alexandra Lara