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The New Mutants And Why It Was A Painful Watch

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December 2, 2020
Read Time: 2 minutes

If not for Anya Taylor Joy and the rest of the cast

 

I said I’d watch anything Anya Taylor Joy was in and I meant it. Even if it means having to go through a painful experience. 

 

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I can imagine The New Mutants being pitched in two ways: 

 

    1. A minimalist chamber superhero-cum-horror film where five teens with destructive powers are being attacked by unknown forces. They can only beat aforementioned forces if they learn to band together and come of age. 
    1. Imagine The Breakfast Club but with mutants. They’re in detention being watched over by a Principal-Type Scientist. They get into fights, hijinks, DMCs and dance to… “Bastards of Young” by The Replacements (?).

 

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Both pitches are great. And yet…THIS MOVIE FALLS SO FLAT ON ITS FACE. It’s appalling to me how such a great concept with awesome characters and an amazing cast can feel so…TV movie. There’s an episode of The Boys that’s kind of similar and even that felt more exciting and substantial. I wonder what possessed the Fox people to think that the dude who made The Fault In Our Stars was the right person for this project. To be fair though, the best scene was a scene that ripped off that movie. 

 

I was also wondering throughout the film how much better it would have been had they changed the score. That score was terrible. It felt like a Lifetime movie.

 

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Throughout the film you can find the characters occasionally watching episodes of Buffy The Vampire Slayer. It’s an obvious homage, a signal that this is what The New Mutants aspires to be: an intelligent, witty, action-packed, multi-genre IP that also serves as an in-depth exploration of being a teenager and growing up. Instead it just made me want to rewatch Buffy to get that New Mutants taste out of my mouth.

 

 

 

 

Listen to a more lengthy rant on The New Mutants on this week’s Endslate, featuring special guest Nico Bolzico:

 

 

Words Quark Henares

Art Alexandra Lara

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