Look at you, you (possible) emotional manipulator
There’s a lot of terminology circling the world of dating—orbiting, bread crumbing and ghosting, to name a few—that it kind of gets confusing. But the great thing about putting words into actions and practices is that we can be more aware of it, whether we’re the victim or the guilty party. That way we can step out or be more conscious of what we’re doing.
Ideally, anyway.
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Let us now introduce you to negging, which is basically undermining someone’s self-confidence in the hope that they become more vulnerable to your advances. It can also be called emotional manipulation. Consider this conversation:
Person A: You know what, you’d look really good ~if~ you just fixed your hair a little differently.
Person B: Oh…thanks.
Person A: So, do you want to have dinner and we can take that new hairstyle out for a spin?
So, are you guilty of this new spangled thing called negging, which doesn’t have to be romantic at all, BTW? Time to find out:
Quiz: Are You Guilty Of Negging (AKA Being Emotionally Manipulative)?
Have you ever said anything like, “Wow, you look great! I wish I had the courage to wear something so different?”
Are you guilty of comparing someone to someone else? For example, “Didn’t your older brother go into medicine? Maybe you should, too.”
When you deliver what you think is constructive criticism, does it sound something like, “Thank you for all that effort, but it just doesn’t show in your output?”
Have you ever turned the attention on you just as someone else is getting praised?
Have you mastered the art of the “insulting question?” (Ex., “You look really great today! Did someone take you shopping?”)
Do you play off your insults as if they were just jokes (when they weren’t)?
When your friends or your SO actually talk to you about issues, do you play them off like they’re worried about nothing?
Have you ever denied your guilt when you’re called out on something awful you once said?
Did you ever point something out about someone that they can’t fix? (Ex., “Wow, you’re so short. You must need someone’s help all the time.”)
Have you ever said anything along the lines of, “I’d like you more if only…?”
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Quiz: Are You Guilty Of Negging (AKA Being Emotionally Manipulative)?
Art Alexandra Lara
