Celebrity host, DJ and “Tyler’s Mama,” Bea Fabregas-Ramos, shares her thoughts on “mom guilt,” fitness and more
PSA: “Mom guilt” is real. Just ask Bea Fabregas-Ramos, mother to an *actual* angel in human form, Tyler, beloved by the internet and fondly referred to as “Goosey.” The celebrity host and DJ has had her fair share of moments wherein she had to overcome this more-than-common feeling of guilt, sometimes accompanied by shame, when she does things for herself. She tells Wonder, “Mom guilt is a strange thing…anything that you used to do for yourself before, you kinda feel bad because you think that you should instead be with your child and nurture your child [at all times].”
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If you’re feeling demotivated to work out or even just move, then you might want to hit follow on Bea’s Instagram account. The former athlete and Nike ambassador steadily posts workout videos, gently nudging her followers, “This is your reminder to move today!” Many a time, I find myself getting out of a workout slump when I see her videos. I think to myself, “If Bea can take care of an almost two-year-old and work out, what’s my excuse?”
Fitness has been an integral part of Bea’s life since she was young, but it’s only when she became a mother that her understanding and grasp of the whole process became more whole. This was the time that she gave herself grace when she couldn’t just will herself to move—because, well, she had other priorities. She reveals, “I feel like I always thought that after I popped the baby out, I would be ready to just go to the gym and parang just slay. But you don’t realize the actual experience you’re still going through. There are so many things to consider, and I think what changed is really realizing that you have to set priorities in this season. When Tyler was a newborn and I was breastfeeding around the clock, there was no time to work out, and it sucked but it was my reality. But if I try to force this, then it’s not even gonna be good for my mental health anymore because I would just work out for the sake of working out.”
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For Bea, this was a form of self-sacrifice. “I missed [working out] but I understood that Tyler needs me, so it’s self-sacrifice. It’s kind of like dying to a personal need ‘cause working out for me is a love.”
Now that she has the energy, intention and time to work out regularly, Bea finds joy in it and keeps in mind its long-term effects. She shares, “Personally, after every workout, I feel like, ‘I’m so glad I decided to do it.’ Especially as a mom, you feel like you need to put all your energy towards your baby, but fitness is something I do for me because, in the long run, it’s going to benefit my child.”
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Photos Bea Fabregas-Ramos on Instagram
Art Matthew Ian Fetalver
