For any and all ages—this one is for you, ladies
When we were innocent little things, growing up seemed to be like the most glamourous thing. You made your own decisions, you had your own money and you could do pretty much anything you want. But then—like most things—being an adult just doesn’t always live up to the hype. Sometimes, it just feels like being stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Fortunately, we’ve learned a few things over the years.
1 Trust your instincts
A woman’s intuition has become legendary over the last hundreds of years and we’ve all learned just why this is so. For some reason, it always steers us in the right direction. As we get older, the struggle is to not simmer this voice down (because society’s whispers get louder and louder). If you feel it in your gut, whether it’s a good feeling or a bad feeling, listen to it.
2 The only way to change is to take a risk
There’s a certain comfort in routine that can oftentimes act as a blindfold in our lives. The only way to get any real adventure is to venture out of our carefully crafted little boxes. Take risks when you can and reap all of its benefits—but don’t forget that there are consequences as well. But hey, you’re a big girl, you can face them.
3 Love freely, but keep in mind that it’s never enough
Love, in any and all its forms, should be embraced wholeheartedly, no matter how unexpected or illogical it may appear to be. Genuine love is hard to come by and should never be shunned away. Piece of warning though, you still need to be realistic. Loving someone with all your heart doesn’t always result in the happily ever after we all wanted when we drifted off to our childhood dreams.
And no, this isn’t just romantic love. It means loving yourself despite the number of fails you experience too.
4 The world will change you—let it
Chances are, younger you had this amazing (read: unrealistic) image of you now. She thought you were going to be gorgeous, in love, successful, healthy, put together, sociable and loved all at the same time. Chances are, you can only tick off two of those things. You may have some vices you never dreamt would stick, you might not be as successful as you thought or as stereotypically beautiful as you envision—but that’s all okay.
Welcome the chances that the world forces upon you. They’re only proof that you’ve been out in the world and you’ve come through to the other side, not unscathed, but breathing.
5 Crying helps
Ignoring your emotions will only hinder your growth. You need to break down sometimes because sometimes it’ll leave you feeling reborn. Let it out and let it go, because crying does not make you weak.
6 Remember: People don’t think about you as much as you think they do
Damn technology, right? It’s made us more self-conscious than any generation that came before us. This isn’t our fault exactly, but we do need to keep in mind that people are not watching us as closely as we think they are. Dance like no one cares, because no one really cares and because it’s fun. Sing like you have an amazing voice because how else are you going to rock the karaoke mic? And even if others stare, at least you’re giving them a show.
7 Everyone is flawed—forgive them for it
People, including yourself, will fail you. Don’t hold it against anyone.
8 Inspiration comes in all shapes and sizes
Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it! Inspiration and passion can come from anywhere, even if that means people and places that you never expected it to. Don’t lock the door just because of some unfair and presumed biases; you never know what it’ll lead you to.
9 Friendships get old
You’ve heard it before: Real friendships last a lifetime. But the footnote to that is that not all friendships are long-lasting. Change is inevitable and sometimes people just grow apart—this doesn’t mean the friendship meant any less. You can always try to hold on, but you shouldn’t let it hinder the spread of your wings.
10 There is always support out there; don’t be afraid to seek it out
Everyone feels lost and lonely sometimes; it’s a phase that no one can dodge. But girl, remember that there are entire worlds out there that are more than able and willing to support you through anything. If we can’t make things easier for one another, then what can we do?
I’m a woman, Phenomenally.
Art Alexandra Lara