Sometimes, men just have this uncanny ability to disappoint you
Loving women is not a bad thing. In fact, it’s a great thing when done properly and with respect. And in a world of lovers, who better knows how to treat a woman than a Filipino? After all, we as a country pride ourselves in our Filipinas. They are nurturing, caring, beautiful, selfless and relentless when need be—so of course we’d love them right… right?
You’ve probably heard of the Pastor groups that litter Facebook. In case you haven’t, they’re private groups that function under the guise of religion (hence, pastor), but actually is just a community where guys can exchange photos of women like it’s currency and they have all the riches of the universe. Some of the photos are intimate, provocative and sometimes even showcase girls that look just like that: girls.
Men will be men? Sharing photos is harmless? It won’t hurt if the girl never finds out? Ask any woman and she will say no. Ask a real man and he will disagree.
But for the hardheaded, I raise you this: Pick-up Artist Academy AKA PUA Academy, a group on Facebook that actually teaches boys how to pick up women. Not only are there on-ground and online lessons, but there are reports shared as well.
Boys will be boys? Disgusting? You be the judge.
These men don’t call women by their names in said reports. They use codenames like “The Virgin” and treat finding love—even sex—like a game. After all, it might be easier to approach a woman beyond your understanding when you think of her like a mystery to solve with the tools your beloved coaches have provided you with. They did throw a bunch of “be humorous/be intelligent/assert your authority/make her feel safe” your way; you might as well use them.
But it’s 2018 and we all believe in gender equality, yeah? Well, these boys objectify themselves, too, referring to their own personal traits as high value or low value—which offers an innocent starting point for betterment, of course.
There’s a success story of a boy who gave everything to a girlfriend that cheated on him. During his heartbreak, a friend of his told him to check out PUA Academy. This boy, upon seeing it, called himself “the NUMBER 1 HATER OF THIS COMMUNITY.” Yes, ma’am, in all caps.
As the story goes, however, he apparently got “hooked with this group.” He went on to say that PUA “also [teaches] self-development… and [how] to have a long lasting relationship.” So he attended one of the tours and bought the book, too. After trying the tips out, he was convinced: “It’s real! From approaching to dating until the girl will chase you. It’s all accurate.”
Insert sarcastic LOL here. Self-development measured by a woman chasing you? Sounds more like good ol’ fashioned misogyny. Not to mention the fact that by the time this boy’s report was shared, it was only “4 months straight [of] knowing this art.” I don’t know about you, but the last time I checked, four months wasn’t “long lasting.”
It is not about bettering yourself. It is, instead, about increasing your worth through tricks and coaching. And when you do, you get your rewards: your first kiss, a fuck, maybe even a real girlfriend. But this way of thinking strengthens misogyny and the idea that anyone is just a commodity that’s up for grabs. Pick-up lines are now the hottest things to barter.
If you want to love someone, love them. Love them properly, love them with respect and treat them like equals. If you want to do good, then be fucking good—talking to you, too, ladies.
Art Alexandra Lara