And why you shouldn’t be sorry about it
Imagine walking into your favorite restaurant and knowing exactly what you want—so much so that you can almost taste it in your mouth. You know it’s there, you know how it tastes and you know just how satisfying it is.
Imagine sitting down on a familiar chair and feeling the excitement build up. Imagine looking over the menu and not wanting anything else but your go-to dish that never fails. Imagine placing that order in perfect fluidity, without a word getting lost or fumbled over. Imagine hearing the waiter say that it’s currently not available. Imagine the dreaded re-read of the menu and the unsatisfying feeling at the pit of your stomach as you choose something you know is only second best.
That’s what settling is; it’s taking something because it’s there, even if it isn’t what you really want. It’s making do with whatever (or whoever) is available, simply because there’s nothing (or no one) else.
And if the world were a restaurant, why would you take a bite out of the second-best option? You wouldn’t—not if you could help it.
We weren’t born to pay bills and die.
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Settling is selfish
There are two people or parties involved in any relationship, whether it’s a romantic or professional one. Either way, settling for that relationship is a selfish one. It hinders growth and the potential of actually finding a better match, both for you and the other involved. Someone else could be loving him or her and someone else could be flourishing in your job.
People say that adventure is necessary for life and that staying in our comfort zones or our carefully crafted circles isn’t actually living—and they’re right. Settling for something or someone for the mere fact that they walked into our lives or fell onto our laps is oftentimes safe and sometimes boring. If there’s only one chance you take in life, let it be for the one thing or that one person that will actually put a smile on your face.
We weren’t meant to stay in one place.
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There’s a clear difference between biting into what you want and what you’ve been waiting for as opposed to biting into what you know and has proven to be less-than- stellar. The former satisfies a craving you’ve had for God-knows- how-long while the latter usually just leaves you feeling just as empty, if not emptier—and this is just food. Just think about how much worse it would be if you were living it every day of your life.
Choosing to settle for anything or anyone is sometimes proof that you don’t think you can actually get what you want. It’s you silently saying, “I’ll take this because I can never have that.” It’s you belittling yourself and not believing what you’re capable of.
We’re better off alone than badly accompanied.
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And—stay with us—you deserve more
You deserve so much more than settling for a job you hate or a person you’re not really in love with or a life that you don’t really want. You deserve happiness and smiles and a real reason to get up in the morning. You’re worthy of deep connections, fulfilled passions and a life that feels lived.
What do they say? Oh yes: We weren’t born to pay bills and die. If we were meant to stay in one place, we’d have roots instead of feet. And—of course—better alone than badly accompanied.
Art Alexandra Lara