Every now and then, I find myself clicking into YouTube’s diet videos. I Tried Insert-celebrity-here’s Diet for One Week. Here’s How I Lost Five Pounds in Three Days. I should know better. I’ve written my fair share of fitness stories, care about wellness, and spent my pre-quarantine months going to fitness centers. But old habits die hard, they say, and body image has always taken up more of my mental estate. As I say, the journey to self-love is long , I’m glad these women are taking me along for the ride of loving my pear shaped body.
I didn’t grow up seeing bodies like mine in the media. As a kid of the 90s and early 2000s, I only knew two body types that could earn society’s—and for a long time, my own—seal of approval: toned and thin, or a well-balanced hourglass. My own body type, small up top and full around the bottom, didn’t exist. Not in cartoons, not in movies, not in anime that didn’t feature impossible proportions and thrive on sexual undertones. Pear-shaped women like me didn’t quite fit into mainstream standards, and certainly not into most pairs of jeans.
And then, the world shifted. The Kims and Kylies of the world took over. Fuller bodies became the blueprint. Curves became social media currency.
I should be thankful. For the most part, I am. But while the world has learned to applaud bodies like mine, my love for my own anatomy is only just catching up.
There’s plenty of unlearning to do. There’s plenty more love to give myself. But while I continue working my way towards loving my pear-shaped body more, I take pride knowing that there are admirable figures flaunting equally admirable figures, lighting the path to unapologetic self-love for women like me.
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Chloe x Halle’s tracks have been in my Spotify favorites since Ungodly Hour came out, but it wasn’t until they dropped their music video for Don’t Make It Harder On Me that I was wholly spellbound by Miss Chloe Bailey. The talent! The face! The body! It’s girls like her who make me think that some women do have it all—except she shatters that illusion herself by openly talking about her low moments, and how she finds confidence through it all.
In 2017, Rihanna spoke to The Cut about the trials and tribulations of having a “fluctuating body type.” It’s a reality women know all too well. “One day I can literally fit into something that is bodycon, and then the next day — the next week — I need something oversized; I need a little crop here and a high-waist there to hide that part, you know?” But despite it all, she continues to serve, flaunting her curves in her own campaigns for Savage x Fenty and the occasional Instagram post.
We all had this Doja Cat banger on loop at one point or another, but I didn’t replay the music video purely for the song. Say So was my thicc girl anthem, a crucial first step towards loving my narrow shoulders and wider hips. The confidence she had in that horizontal stripe halter dress? I want that for myself.
K-pop girl group Mamamoo’s career has its fair share of cancellations and cultural appropriation claims, and I admit I’m no longer the fan I once was shortly after their debut. Despite my stan card being revoked, I will never write off the positive change Mamamoo member Hwasa has sparked in the Korean entertainment industry. When you grow up a fan of women who are held to unbelievably high standards, it’s easy to demand the same flat stomach, skinny arms and shapely legs from yourself. But Hwasa has changed the game for the young girls who look up to her, swimming against the current to create her own standard of beauty.
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Naturally, this is only the very beginning of the pear-shaped gal’s glory days. There’s more work to put in on my own: accepting my own unique body, loving it, celebrating it. But everything at my own pace, including self-love. In the meantime, I’m happy to take in the view and bask in the light that these women have afforded me.
Art Matthew Ian Fetalver
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