Wait, You Sure You Want To Move In With Your SO?
You’d test drive a car before buying it, right?
Our parents may not have ever considered it, but the generations that followed them are certainly more open to the idea of moving in with their partners. It seems perfect, doesn’t it? You get to sleep beside the person that you love every night and when you wake up, you can cook breakfast together. And since you’re so loved up, what could possibly go wrong?
Let us tell you: A lot.
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You could still break up
So if you’re moving in with your partner just because you think doing so will bring you one step closer to marriage, get your head on straight, because it isn’t a guarantee. Cohabitating without an actual contract (aka marriage certificate) gives you and your SO a clear way out for when things get rough. In fact, wanting to live in has been attributed to people that actually fear commitment; they get all the perks without actually being tied down.
It’s not the best test for compatibility
Research suggests that moving in with your partner is the best way to test compatibility. So if you and your SO are thinking of testing the waters to see if you can give forever a go, there are other means of doing so. It’s going to seem a little crazy and really difficult, but studies say abstaining from sex is the way to go. That frustration and having nothing but each other’s non-sexual company will test your relationship like nothing else.
Sorry, but the numbers aren’t good
Numbers don’t lie… right? Well, research has proven that couples who cohabit before marriage run a higher risk of being separated by as much as 50 percent (what). The other thing is that other studies have claimed that couples who live with each other post higher numbers in terms of domestic violence and eventual single parenthood (yikes).
You’ll learn everything about them
Their smelly morning breath, their real bathroom habits, their lazy after-work rituals of throwing clothes on the floor and not picking them up after—something that might be left better to the imagination.
These things said, there are also some real benefits of moving in with your significant other. Otherwise, no one would do it.
It’s forming a real identity as a team
Being confined to same space will force you two to work together as a team. That means making decisions together about mostly everything, from the grocery list to the cooking and from the financing and meddling with pesky neighbors. As much as you might consider yourself a single unit now, it’s nothing compared to what you could be.
You’ll find out what you really think of each other
Missing your partner is a big part of any relationship, but this will significantly decrease when you move in together. You’ll share most meals together, you’ll make the same bed and you’ll be watching television with them on Saturday nights and Sunday afternoons. There’s also everything in between, which might mean some bad things. You’ll find out the difference between passion and mere companionship.
You’ll learn everything about them
The way they’ll take care of you when you’re sick, the way they’ll check up on their parents, how they play with the neighbor’s dog and how considerate they are of the other people around them—puts a smile on your face, doesn’t it?
No one can tell you what to do. No one can tell you how to handle your relationship. The best thing to do is just talk it all out, every chance you get.
Art Alexandra Lara