Sorry we're not sorry
Yes, it’s the 21st century. We live in modern times, true. But let’s be honest, the world isn’t fair, wars are still happening (here in our very own backyard and the other side of the archipelago) and women are still limited, even restricted by stereotypes created by those before us.
“Women are weak and emotional…”
In traditional schools, it is instilled upon young that boys are smarter than girls; after all, many of the greats in history books are men. Women were added for variety, mostly recognized for helping treat the sick or giving motherly advice.
Meanwhile, society tells us only men can take on high-powered jobs because women are weak and emotional; we simply can’t make the necessary decisions to thrust a company or a country forward. Media suggests that girls are responsible for their own sexual assaults; read: ‘bakit ka ba kasi nagpunta dun,’ ‘eh kasi yang suot mo,’ or ‘dapat hinayaan mo nalang’ are common responses to women who dare talk about being catcalled or sexually harassed.
Yes, women make great homemakers, mothers and wives. But they are capable of being more than what everyone else expects them to be. A woman can be a princess with long, shiny hair and be a ball-busting superhero; she can wear the proverbial pants at home, at work or wherever she chooses and still be ultra feminine; she can be great at math and science, and have a really good skincare regimen, too.
Women and men need to work together to change the status quo and challenge stereotypes that have long been imposed upon womankind.
Here, the most common stereotypes we’ve heard about us, females, starting at home.
1 At the dining table, after eating, the mom or the girls in the family clean up while the boys get to put their feet up and relax.
Boy, help mom or ate wash the dishes or offer to do the cooking next time. Not knowing how to do housework is not something to be proud of.
2 In the kitchen, only the girls should cook.
Man meet Anthony Bourdain, Tony Boy Escalante, Gordon Ramsey, Jordy Navarra, Jamie Oliver, etc.
3 And if they can’t cook, they can’t get married.
Lies. That’s what takeout, ready-made meals, instant stuff are for. But it does help to learn a few things in the kitchen…
4 On the road, if there’s a slow or incompetent driver, it’s most likely a she.
So false; some people are just bad drivers, regardless of gender. Besides, it’s pretty easy to get a driver’s license here, even if you don’t drive.
5 In school, at the workplace, etc., if a girl is hot or pretty, she’s likely dumb/stupid/using her looks to get ahead.
Sadly, even girls themselves believe this to be true. But real life isn’t a TV show or the movies; IRL, a girl can look good and be smart. See: 16 Filipino “Wonder Women” Named, Filipina Among 43 Most Powerful Female Engineers in US, The World's 100 Most Powerful Women In 2017.
6 Also if she likes anything that guys like—cars, video games, sports—she’s probably lesbian.
While this holds true for some, there are women who just enjoy doing the same activities, sports or things that guys do, like driving racecars or winning in a male-dominated sport.
7 Girls should like pink, have long, flowy hair, speak softly, laugh meekly, cross their legs while seated, not curse, etc., etc., etc.
Codes of conduct and norms exist to keep everybody in check (like cross your legs if you’re wearing a skirt); but if the rule doesn’t apply or seems irrational (like pink is just for girls), why adhere to it? Besides, we love a guy who can rock a pink shirt.
8 In relationships, if and when a man cheats, it’s normal; he’s just being a guy. If a girl cheats, she’s a slut/whore/bitch/gold digger, etc.
Cheating is not and will never be okay, whether it’s a man or woman doing the cheating.
Also, being a playboy/fuckboy is not a compliment. It doesn’t increase penis size. What it does is make you that guy no girl would bring home to meet mom and dad.
9 Women should want to get married and have kids, otherwise there’s something wrong with them or they will never fulfill their life’s purpose.
Women were not put on this earth to serve as life partners to men and make babies. She can want both and choose to dedicate herself solely to family or want both and keep her awesome job. She can also be married and have lots of dogs instead of kids or want kids but not a husband.
10 Women only like girly drinks because they can’t hold their alcohol.
While alcohol absorption and tolerance are based on biological sex and weight, respectively, this doesn’t mean that women only like girly drinks a.k.a sweet and fruity cocktails. Some of us do like whisky and are well versed in alcoholic beverages.
Enough is enough. We won’t be told to sit down or stand in the sidelines. We’re not going to shut up and take it. And tbh, we’re tired of being mansplained to.
Art Alexandra Lara