Have you hit the universal average?
I have friends who have had a lot of sexual partners, some who say they’ve only ever slept with their long-term partners and fewer who have decided to wait until marriage. Some of them are proud of their standing, some are sheepish and there are those who refuse to talk about it altogether.
Some say that, on average, women and men around the world have an average of four to 10 sexual partners in their life. Specifically in the United States, that average number is 7.2. Unsurprisingly, no such research or data point is available for the Philippines—at least, not officially.
So let’s talk about it. Does body count matter? Does it matter how many people you’ve successfully done the deed with (or not)?
Like most things in today’s world, the answer is a complicated one that requires the consideration of many factors.
Your upbringing
If you’re like the majority of the Philippines—and especially if you’re a girl—you were probably told that you should wait until marriage before having sex for the sake of saving your virginity for the person you know will be there for the rest of your life. Sex before marriage is bad, is frowned upon, is a sin. Personally, I never got the talk from my parents, but the nuns and teachers in my Catholic school definitely engrained it in me; or at least they tried to.
Your circle
As much as we hate to admit it, peer pressure is a real thing. Most of us don’t want to be on the outskirts, the only one quiet during conversations that discuss sexual experiences. We don’t want to quietly sip our drinks or sheepishly eat food while our friends—our chosen family—talks about their first, second, third time.
Your significant other
And then there is probably the most important factor when it comes to body count: your significant other. You might be concerned that your experiences don’t match up, that you’re inexperienced or over experienced. There might be some guilt that they waited until marriage or at least a serious relationship, and you didn’t. Or maybe you feel let down because you waited while they were off adding notches to their bedpost. You’re concerned about being compared, or making a comparison; about not living up to expectations or being let down by your own standards.
But most importantly, do you care?
But all of those lessons and considerations, whether thrust upon directly or indirectly, don’t matter as much as how you feel about them. Do you want your first time to be with your spouse? Does it matter to you whether or not your partner has had sexual partners in the past? Will you feel better at the end of the day? Is it an issue with you?
Because if there’s anything we’ve learned in living in today’s day and age, it’s that you’ll never please everyone. When there are so many factors and opinions to consider, the only real one you should care about is yours.
Art Dani Sison
