Pick the trait that other people say they admire about you:

Your perpetual mood:

You’re about to throw a fit. Pick a song to calm your inner bitch down:

You find humor in being called…

If you had a placard on your forehead designed to warn people, it would most likely say:

How does dissent usually show on your face?

Pick whichever is most important to you:

One of your major pet peeves:

Pick a job you’re certain you had in your past life:

Not a lot of people know this about you, but…

Pick an item to complete your look with:

If push comes to shove, you’d be capable of…

Quiz: Which Cutthroat Bitch is Your Spirit Animal
You got O-Ren Ishii from ‘Kill Bill: Vol. 1’

The Quentin Tarantino film of a love story gone wrong features several savage women, actually. There’s protagonist Beatrix Kiddo (Uma Thurman), her former friends and fellow assassins Vernita Green (Vivica A. Fox) and Elle Driver (Daryl Hannah). But you, oh you, are much more like O-Ren Ishii (Lucy Liu) of the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad. Standing alongside these other bad-ass women, you belong to the steadfast brand of cutthroat: with an ability to read a room and use your cunning to navigate even the most unideal situations. Here’s the catch: O-Ren is the one assassin that can’t simply be written off as just cutthroat. There’s more to her than that and the same can be said about you. O-Ren, like yourself, is proof that still waters run deep…even if it’s in the most twisted sense. Calm and collected yet unyielding when provoked. Easygoing and diplomatic, but runs a pretty tight ship––and anyone who has crossed you before know not to do it again. You’ve earned the right to be cutthroat and unforgiving. The cutthroat words––and movie scene––that likely resonate with you: “As your leader, I encourage you from time to time, and always in a respectful manner, to question my logic. If you're unconvinced that a particular plan of action I’ve decided is the wisest, tell me so, but allow me to convince you and I promise you right here and now, no subject will ever be taboo. Except, of course, the subject that was just under discussion. The price you pay for bringing up either my Chinese or American heritage as a negative is...I collect your fucking head. Just like this fucker here. Now, if any of you sons of bitches got anything else to say, now’s the fucking time!”
You got Courtney Shayne from ‘Jawbreaker’

You’ve got that je nais se quoi about you that allows you fit right in a fun-loving teen romantic-comedy, but there’s something more to you. A darker sense of humor? Check. A desire to play by your own rules? Definitely. Using what you’ve been blessed with to get a leg-up in life? Come on, you’d be naïve not to. Like Courtney Shayne (Rose McGowan) in the 1999 crime-comedy chick flick Jawbreaker, you’d do as anyone with queen bee potential would: with no qualms about keeping people in line––and at a reasonable distance––coupled with the wisdom to trust only a select few. This, however, doesn’t mean you’re a cold, closed-off kind of cutthroat bitch. You have your fun-loving, flexible side. You’re charming as hell, too. And where people might see manipulative, you only see crafty: a go-getter, an excellent orchestrator. You know how to make the best out of a bad situation and you never let your enemies see you sweat. The cutthroat words––that speak to real-life scenarios––that likely resonate with you: “Ok, reality check. Liz is in the trunk of this car and she is dead. That is a sad, fucked up thing, but you are going to walk into that school and strut your shit down the hallway like everything is peachy fucking keen.”
You got Miranda Priestly from ‘The Devil Wears Prada’

You’ve earned your stripes, you’ve walked your talk, you’ve played by the rules long enough to make new ones. You, whose spirit animal is the “Snow Queen” of the fictional publishing world Miranda Priestly (Meryl Streep), have won the right to be cutthroat when need be. Like Miranda, you’ve grown to accept the fact that romantic relationships may have to take a backseat in the name of your career. But who can blame you? You adore what you do and you’re amazing at it. Any man who can’t keep up with your high standards for yourself can hit the road. Where others see “heartless,” Miranda sees “rational.” What others call ambition, she calls drive. This is precisely what makes her the cutthroat bitch in film you align with. There’s nothing wrong with toughening up and living without the desire to act soft to appease people. Another thing is: you’re not afraid to make the hard choices either. You even prefer to deal with issues head on. It’s nothing personal. It’s just business. And you conduct yourself in all this impeccably dressed. The cutthroat words that likely resonate with you: “Details of your incompetence do not interest me.”
You got Heather Chandler from ‘Heathers’

Before disgruntled teen movies like Easy A and Mean Girls came into the picture, audiences had the twisted ‘80s high school drama Heathers (starring Winona Ryder and Christian Slater) to keep ‘em entertained. Let’s cut straight to your spirit animal, though: the movie’s secondary antagonist, the head of the Heathers and one-woman institution, Heather Chandler (Kim Walker). Like this Heather, you have an innate understanding of how the real world works. You’re not one to pretend it’s an entirely kind, hunky-dory place to be. Heather tells it like it is and that’s how you yourself prefers things: Sugarcoating just isn’t your style, but if there’s something you are generous with, it’s sarcasm. It practically runs through your veins. While people might see a see a snob, Heather Chandler merely sees the opposite of a people pleaser. What others call remorseless, she deems ideal for survival. What’s wrong with looking out for #1 anyway? All in all, she is unfazed and doesn’t really care about what people say. The truth of the matter is (and what counts is that) they’re all still talking––and she’s the hot topic. You as a Heather Chandler line from the movie: “Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Do I look like Mother Teresa?”

Share your Results:

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *