These Gen Zers sure know how to stand up for themselves
During family reunions over the holiday break, we’re bound to experience anxiety jitters. That fluttering sensation we know all too well is either triggered by the excitement of returning home to spend time with loved ones or the sheer dread of it all. Don’t worry; if you’re part of the latter, you’re not alone.
There’s a lot to be said about family reunion culture, especially in the Philippines, wherein you’re pretty much signing up for TV-show-worthy roast fests brought to you by titas and titos you don’t even remember having. Comments like “Tumataba ka (You’re getting fat)” or “When are you going to start a family?” always hit the spot. But the age-old question remains: How do you respond to their off-handed remarks?
Ahead, we asked Gen Zers how they handle these sticky situations in the hopes of gaining some inspiration for witty and PG-rated responses to bring to your next family gathering.
The classic side-eye
Actions speak louder than words
EJ knows a thing or two about delivering the perfect side eye for off-handed remarks. She says, “It’s not exactly disrespectful; it’s just a way of communicating [that is] universally understood.” She recommends this approach for side comments that don’t exactly call for a response; for example, comments about your weight or appearance. “I just never know how to respond to them, so if my words fail me, I’ll just let my eyes do all the talking.”
Email etiquette 101
The bare minimum politeness
Class never goes out of style, especially when showing polite sassiness. Cole shares that one of the most common comments he gets at the family dinner table is how skinny he is. His relatives say, “Men shouldn’t be skinny because it’s not manly.” And to that, he says, “Message received.” With no point in arguing, Cole says his skills in email etiquette pay off. Sending a quick “noted” goes a long way. It is quick, simple, harmless, but still fun and quirky.
Feigning oblivion
They said what now?
If you’re not the best at confrontation, Paula recommends the classic innocent move: “Sorry tita, ‘di kita marinig (Sorry tita, I can’t hear you).” Best used in a room where the karaoke machine is blaring high, Paula says she’s gotten away with answering rude questions by simply pretending not to hear them. “It’s my way of choosing peace. As a non-confrontational type, I like to pretend I can’t hear them, and luckily for me, they never ask me again!”
A ray of sunshine
In our live, laugh, love era
Fake it ‘til you make it is Rain’s battle cry coming into her family reunion. Even if she knows the downpour of rude remarks awaits her, she shares that faking a cheap smile and fighting the negative energy with positive vibes is her way of coping. “I just say, ‘Omg tita, I’m so happy to see you!’ while fighting the urge to cry from whatever unsolicited comment [she says].” Rain says this is a “foolproof” response, especially if you’re trying to sweeten up a bit for the pamasko you’re expecting from them.
Brutally blunt
Effective, but be careful
The total opposite of Rain finds its spot right next to Keith, who isn’t afraid to fight fire with fire. Be careful, this may anger some of your relatives, but Keith says it’s all worth it to “put them in their place.” For someone who doesn’t have family reunions so often, a response he’s practiced over the years is saying, “Sorry, who are you again, tita?” It's a little spicy, but Keith promises it’s one of the “most satisfying” feelings ever—something he surprisingly looks forward to every holiday season. He says, “I still get the same comments every few years I see my family. So, I give them the same response every year: ‘Sino ka ulit (Who are you again)?' But I wouldn’t recommend this for the faint of heart. Medyo risky, but I swear, it’s super rewarding!”
Pick your poison! How do you respond to rude remarks at the family dinner table?
Words Vanessa Tiong
Art Macky Arquilla
