Sending Nudes: The Rules Of Safety
Before you go sending nudes someone’s way, protect yourself
The generations that grew up with technology get a lot of flak for being too promiscuous and too easy and too free sometimes. And with everyone slurring out words like “fuck boy,” “slut” and “hoe” in common conversation, it’s hard not to see why. After all, we grew up (and continue to thrive) in a time where sending nudes, sexting and watching porn are activities that are well within reach. Raise your hands up proudly if you know from experience that these activities have only upped in frequency due to the lockdown!
Because you know what? Go send your nudes; we don’t judge. Be as promiscuous as you want to be, be as free as you wish, be proud of what you look like. But before you go ahead do that, may we urge a little respect and a whole lot of planning.
Rule 1: Make sure you’re of age
We’ve got some young readers and if you’re under 18, please don’t snap pics; wait a little while. Even if things are consensual, being a minor adds about 50 feet of complications.
Rule 2: Make sure they want your nudes in the first place
We’re all about sexual liberation, but no one wants an eager beaver. Unsolicited pics (whether dick or otherwise) are not welcome ever.
Also, please think about who you’re sending nudes to, especially if they aren’t a partner. You need to trust them.
Rule 3: No Facebook messenger
It’s no secret, but Facebook stores every bit of information about you that it can gather—and that includes the photos and videos that you send. Go for a messaging app that’s encrypted, will let you know when someone takes a screenshot or saves their own version and is timed.
Viber and Telegram allow you to time your conversations, which automatically deletes messages within seconds or days after the recipient sees the message (or photo or video). These apps also allow you delete for all parties involved, will let you know when someone takes a screenshot and have an in-app passcode feature. Of course, we all know how SnapChat works.
Bottom line: Be smart when you choose your platform because convenience is not the only thing to consider.
Rule 4: Double check your automatic services
There are services that automatically back your gallery or camera roll, such has Flickr, Google Photos or iCloud. Before you start posing, disable these features. And before you re-enable them, delete your new photos.
Rule 5: Location OFF!
This is a little on the paranoid side, but if your nudes are in question here, you really can’t be over prepared. Turning on your locations as you take the photos encrypts the images with your geographical information—which can then be traced back to your IP address (which is, in turn, unique to every device…you get the picture).
Rule 6: No distinguishing features
Look, you can’t really trust anyone and anything. Apps have terms and conditions that no one really bothers to read, people have an uncanny talent of disappointing us and the only one really looking out for you should be you. With that said, no distinguishable features when you’re off sending nudes. That means no face, no birthmarks, no scars. Because if your photos and videos get out there, your last ditch effort to keep yourself untied is a meek, “That’s not me”—which is far less believable when everyone can clearly see your face.
If you get a thrill from sending nudes, there is no shame in it. If it floats your boat, selfie your life away. And in a time and age when digital sexual interactions are the only physically safe ones we can partake in, there is no shame. But before you satisfy your carnal desires (and, inevitably, someone else’s), make sure it won’t figuratively come back and bite you in the ass.
Art Alexandra Lara