Exploring Your Body (Alone) With Your Partner
Stuck at home? Time to experience exploring your body
I was never encouraged to explore my body, and I doubt that many of you were. And no, I am not talking about dance classes or swimming or wrestling; I mean the ~good~ stuff. It’s something we do behind locked doors, in those moments when our homes are quiet and we know no one is coming by to disturb (or catch) us. It’s fine, but the bodily exploration doesn’t have to be a solo act.
I only really started to embrace my body and the sensations it could give me when I was encouraged to; when my partner at the time talked to me and worked with me and quite literally opened me up to all the possibilities. And with quarantine protocols still encouraging us not to head out and get frisky, may I put forth: exploring your body (alone) with your partner.
Commercial break: I just googled “exploring your body” and the first headline was: Exploring your body is not naughty—damn right it’s not. Anyway.
So how do we do it?
Set the mood
With the power of unlimited messaging, sexting has pretty much become the norm. You can use this to your advantage, especially when it comes to getting yourself in the right mindset. Some of us might not be the most comfortable scouring porn sites for a specific video and you never really know how (or when) they will end. On the other hand, with your partner on the other line, you’ll have a little more control.
Encourage each other, communicate and do not be scared to say what you’re feeling and what you want to feel. It can start with a simple, “I wish I was kissing you right now.”
Throw in some rich media
Get in a position that makes you feel good and you think looks good, and send it your partner’s way. Wear something that makes you feel sexy. Take photos of the body parts that you know they miss and you want them to take notice of. Send a video of the camera going up and down—as if it’s their eyes checking you out. Do it in bed or on the couch or in the shower; extra points if it’s a place that rouses some really great memories.
All that said, there are safety precautions to take when sending stills and/or videos of yourself. Follow them. Whether or not your current partner is new to your life, you can never be too sure.
Or get really, really descriptive
If nudes aren’t your thing and you’re more comfortable voicing out your wants, then go for it. Point out the features you find most attractive, tell them where you feel the most sensation, tell they why you like exploring their body so much. Describe how you want to feel their body on yours, and tell them why you love it so much.
Are their hands rough across your back? Are her lips soft against your neck? Do his fingers pressing against your thighs make your knees buckle? Does her hair against your face make you feel like you’re the only one in the world? Time to let them know.
Take direction, give direction
In order for you to really enjoy exploring your body with your partner, you need to be able to let go a little bit. It can be a photo that they specifically ask for or an action—a caress, a rub, a touch—that they want you to do for them. Follow their direction; it’ll make it seem more like they’re there with you.
That said, be directive as well. This goes both ways, ladies and gents. Tell them what you would do to them if you were physically together in that moment, let them revel in their imagination and the memory or thought of you.
RELATED: V is For Vagina
Exploring your body is exciting in itself. Doing so with a partner, on the other hand, adds a different dimension. Releasing some of that control can be freeing, communicating so thoroughly provides intimacy and asking for what you want builds your confidence. Be vocal, take action and enjoy yourself—that’s the main goal.
So…feel like going on an adventure of self-discovery yet?
Art Alexandra Lara