The perfect first-date tips from first-date dates
It’s Valentine’s season! And if there’s anything Valentine’s Day is known for beyond the flowers and the chocolates, it’s got to be the comical wave of romance that’s crashing into the scenes of restaurants, movie houses, art museums and every public space imaginable. Looking at all the flowers and heart-shaped balloons sold on the street is enough to send love-struck spirits into a Valentine’s Day frenzy, planning and rushing to make Valentine’s plans and dates with whoever suits their fancy.
Many of these romantic dates are probably firsts for some young (and old) couples looking to celebrate love in all its blazing glory on Heart’s Day. But along with first dates come jitters disguised as butterflies springing from the depths of your gut as you wonder what the heck a first date should even look like, let alone what to expect and how to conduct yourself in front of your date!
Ahead, we asked some first-date daters what their perfect first dates looked like and all the in-betweens to help you picture what makes a perfect first date—it’s not always as grand as you think!
RELATED: Here’s What it Feels Like to Date for the First Time, According to Former NBSBs
Wonder: How would you describe your ideal perfect first date?
Selina: Nothing fancy! I think that would put pressure on me rather than impress me. I wouldn’t want anything too over the top for a first date, especially if it’s my first time getting to know someone. I’d appreciate it if my date put a lot of consideration into [it] so we could have a good time, but at the end of the day, what I value the most is having good company.
Charles: Simple lang naman, just getting to know someone and talking, mainly. You can do so many things for a first date, but the perfect first date is really when it feels like it doesn’t matter what you’re doing, that you could be sitting in a fancy restaurant or at the side of the road and just their company and conversation would transport you somewhere else.
Lance: I think my ideal first date involves eventually getting to the point where we are both comfortable and start to imagine what living our whole lives together would look like. So, my ideal first date revolves around developing that comfiness in a way that isn't weird, pushy or pressuring: an errand date! Doing errands (an everyday activity that reeks of mundaneness) allows for the opportunity to really “go through life” with the person you like!
Wonder: What did your actual first date look like?
Selina: I wasn’t romantically interested in my date beforehand, so when we first met, it wasn’t a date but a hang-out. But looking back, it was definitely something first-date worthy. I meant to meet him after an activity I had to do for work, but we were SO DELAYED, and I felt so bad because he had to wait for me for two hours. Since it was our first time to meet that day, I felt so embarrassed to put him through such a hassle. Fortunately for me, he didn’t mind at all, and it made me notice how patient he was (which he still is to this day!). The date activities themselves weren’t anything special—we went to a café in Makati to do some work, then drove around and (willingly???) found ourselves stuck in traffic.
Charles: We went to watch a musical together and, to be honest, it was a very “mid” and eye-rolling show. My date arrived really late because he thought it started 30 minutes later. Afterward, we just sat in a café and talked about our lives, what we were looking for in someone and all our flaws and mistakes—it just felt honest and intimate. We only left because the café had closed and we both had class the next day. We decided to split a Grab on the way home, and when we got in the Grab, the driver was playing Two Less Lonely People in the World by Air Supply, and we laughed because the song felt a bit too perfect.
Lance: It was a grocery date! I was half nervous and half excited since I was already friends with the person, but it was super fun! I thought we wouldn't have anything to talk about in a grocery, but I fell for the person even harder when I realized that they could make something so mundane feel meaningful. I found myself laughing and running around the grocery like a child. It's a good memory, and it made me all the more comfortable to pursue something more profound with that person.
@our92sqm we love our grocery shopping dates, we never thought doing the groceries could be this fun when you’ve found your person #wlw #wlwcouple #lgbtq ♬ original sound – our92sqm
Wonder: What about the experience made it the perfect first date?
Selina: It was a special date for me because I met him in person for the first time, and we just clicked! I found it so easy to be myself around him, and I felt like he easily brought out the best sides of me. We spent seven hours together just talking, which would probably be a nightmare for introverts (like myself), but I felt so fulfilled with the time we spent together that I decided to give dating him a chance.
Charles: The conversation. We were able to talk about so many things with ease, and we were able to show genuine interest no matter what we were talking about.
Lance: I got to see a side of them that feels like the idea of “best foot forward” in a much more genuine way. Plus, I've found that the flow of conversation from “What's your favorite dinner food?” at a restaurant to “I got the spaghetti for you!” at a grocery store is crazy sweet (kilig to the max!)
Wonder: Do you have any advice for first-time daters?
Selina: Follow your gut and go with the flow! I think it’s better to walk in with no expectations just to relieve pressure over the whole thing, but having standards is crucial—those are two different things! Enjoy your date, but do be observant. Also, if you’re going on a date with someone new, let a loved one know your plans, just to be safe.
Charles: I remember something my teacher told us: dating is supposed to be fun! It’s so easy to get worked up and anxious about all the minutiae of dating. Personally, I'm kind of avoidant. So, pushing myself to get to know people can really be stressful. As much as I want to push myself, though, I also try to remember to be patient and kind to myself. If I’m in a situation that’s more trouble than it’s worth, it’s okay to take a step back as long as I’m honest and open with the person I’m seeing.
Lance: To be in the moment and feel your feelings later on! I think it's important to be fully present when you're trying to engage with someone in a super intimate way, which also helps reduce anxiety and make it a more natural experience! Dating is supposed to be a good thing; if you're feeling too scared or pressured to reach the other person's expectations, I believe the best remedy is remembering that there is beauty in baring yourself to someone else.
RELATED: Sex on the First Date: Yay or Nay?
So, are you ready for your first date?
Words Vanessa Tiong
Art Macky Arquilla
